coaching tips

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Comment by anya sizer on October 13, 2008 at 2:50pm

Much research has been done regarding the benefits of keeping , or even nurturing a sense of humour during lifes difficulties .
I know at times during infertility howling into a pillow seemed the best option but there were so many absurd moments that made me laugh too , and thus helped me to remember who I was .

Not only does laughter help present tense but long term there seems to be a lot that laughter can do for us holistically , for example strengthening our immune system , and improving overall wellbeing .
Even , funnily enough in the area of Infertility where studies have been done to show the benefits of laughter and humour and success rates increasing .
two ways to develop this are to actively try to keep a sense of some of the absurd and stupid moments during infertility . Not always possible , but helpful when you can .
Then secondly to rememeber what things naturally make you laugh and bring in more of those things , certain comedy shows , friends , books , films etc and to see it as a medicinal part of the treatement...well thats a good excuse for watching comedies anyway !

Comment by anya sizer on June 9, 2008 at 12:14pm

Its very easy during infertility to allow our subjective self perceptions to become quite negative . To see ourselves as not quite doing enough . Or to see our bodies as not quite strong enough .
Challenging the negative can prove a really useful tool with the three question technique .

Ask yourself if the statement true ?
Is it helpful to me ?
Is it helpful to anyone else ?
So for example "my body keeps letting me down" is an often heard self criticism during treatement . Challenge this assumption , evaluate how helpful it is and how true . If neccesary be prepared to move on from such a pattern of thought , and replace with something more helpful , such as " my body is doing the best it can in difficult circumstances ".
Though such a challenge may take some time , it is possible to have a more healthy and more helpful , mindset .

Comment by anya sizer on May 22, 2008 at 9:06pm

Dont let infertilty rob you of other areas of your life . It is so easy during this very intense time to loose sight of other aspects of you and your life . Understandably so as this is probably the most important part and demands a lot of time and focus . But maintaining a whole sense of self is important too . Ask yourself what areas have taken a backseat during this time ? What things bring you joy ? What things are unique to you ? During my own six year struggle I found one of the most helpful things was simply to write a list of things and activities which made me happy and brought in life . Anything from singing to reading to catching up with certain friends . I made it part of my support system to do these things often and mindfully and found it a great relief , and way through the difficulties .

Comment by anya sizer on May 20, 2008 at 7:51pm

clients often come to me saying they dont feel strong enough for IVF etc .I get them to look back at their last big challenge , or the one they are most proud of . What were the two or three character traits that got you through , what external resources did you use and find helpful ? Visualise and remind yourself how well you did . Then bring those feelings and recognitions forward into the present tense knowing you are well equiped both inside and out for the challenge . We are oftenmuch stronger than we realise

Comment by anya sizer on May 14, 2008 at 10:24am

when going through infertility issues it helps to get the best support team around you possible . Be creative with what you need and who you could ask .Make sure you get all the help needed , emotionally physically spiritually nutritonally etc ! Then visualise their support when going to clinic appointments . You dont have to go through this alone