staying sane through infertility

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Comment by anya sizer on May 27, 2008 at 8:53pm

Dear Julia , I think that is completely true too , its about knowing your limits and not pushing yourself to be feeling something you ought to feel . Ought to being a phrase to be especially wary of at such a vunerable time . I found it helpful to think " I am not going to expect anything more of myself than I would do of a close friend in the same situation " . Often our standards for ourselves are so much higher than for those around us

Comment by Julia Bueno on May 27, 2008 at 7:47pm

Staying sane may also mean protecting yourself from situations that you know will upset you when you are feeling particularly vulnerable. When times felt very tough, I politely declined (or white lied!) invitations to baby showers and christenings...those who understood, were those I knew I could rely on to understand.

Comment by Dax Moy on May 12, 2008 at 6:16pm

In my programs I encourage people to keep a 'gratitude diary'. As Anya says, it's easy to get caught up in thinking about what we're not getting and believe ourselves to be missing out in all areas of life.

This rarely, if ever, is the truth.

Keeping a gratitude diary is a great reminder that there is TONS of great stuff happening all the time and can help keep us sane whilst we're waiting for 'the big one'.

Truth, joy and love

Comment by Tara on May 12, 2008 at 5:40pm

The wonderful Sunday Times agony aunt "Auntie Sally" said that research was done to show that when you do an altuistic deed that is appreciated it releases far more "happy chemicals" in your brain for alot longer than say, a nice meal or a new pair of shoes. So let's all start helping old ladies across the street x

Comment by Jane Gray on May 2, 2008 at 8:26pm

I still keep a book like that and call it my 'book of thanks'... It helps you through all sorts of down times. Infertility is such a major focus in your life that it is easy to neglect the other elements and the other emotions. I remember being thankful for someone wearing a beautiful red sari to work, it made me smile.

Comment by anya sizer on May 2, 2008 at 2:06pm

One of the things I found most helpful was keeping a diary with small records of the good things that happened in each day , from the smallest detail to something positive I had achieved . Infertility can so easily rob you of the good times , that to actively notice them can be such a helpful discipline !